Hello Mother and Goodbye

So this is the day and the hour you passed, one year ago today.  All alone, your breakfast on the table, sitting on your favorite chair, watching out the large front room window.  I am sitting here mother, half eaten breakfast on the table, looking out the picture window.  I am alone. 

I left myself behind in pieces
I know you'll need them when I'm gone.

I am you, so much of you in me and we together are Grace. 
Your mother died on First Light, your wedding anniversary.  Grace, Aug 2, 1886 - Feb. 2, 1956.
You were buried on that day as you willed.  

Rose Frances, July 20, 1918 - Jan. 29, 2010. 

You gave me everything I know, good and bad.  Virginia. 

You, a WWII veteran who loved her service and hated war.  One of the first women ever in the US military and you made it beautiful.  Married another Sergeant, Fred, born the same year as you, one more stripe, in your uniforms standing at attention, a white orchid the only sign that this was your wedding day. 

You, who carried the flag crying at the honor, four uniformed women all around you carrying flashlights watching for snakes in the early morning darkness, your tears on the flag as it Rose in the air.  As your spirit Rose today, one year ago today Jan. 29, 2010. 

You, who were loved by the whole family. Saying the rosary, weaving your spells, knowing the future.  "You will cry so hard when I am gone", she said.   "No I won't", I said. 
But I am crying. 

"You keep this ring", Rose said.  "You will need it when I'm gone".  Your mother gave you a diamond so you would not marry the pig farmer, remember?  Grace did not like him and said, "I will buy you a diamond, you do not have to marry him to get one".  And she took all the money she was saving and bought you a diamond ring.  And when his mother came to seal the deal with the matchmaker, Grace hid you upstairs and said no.  But I will give them a farm said his mother, they will be rich but Grace said, No.  When you were dying you gave me a diamond ring.  Do you know that you were imitating Grace, replaying that moment?   The line of women in our family who are loyal only to the Maiden, wedded to one another, protecting each other where we can.  Only death stopped you.   I carry on. I have rented your house, mother.  I know you are saying, about time.  But the new people moving in today make it clear that you will never return.

No one knew you as I did.  No one knew me as you did.  You, who played victim and fought for your rights, bitter and sweet.  I am you and you are me, always.

Ai,  Ai,  Ai, I am a feather in the wind, my mother, my mother.

if there is no one beside you
when your soul embarks
we all follow you
into the dark.

                                                  ..........Southland
Candlemass - First Light - Groundhog Day -  Feb. 2, marking the half way point to the Spring Equinox in March.  These half way points are called cross quarter days and the time afterward is called the quickening toward the next season's Quarter Day which is always an equinox or solstice.

Feb. 2, First Light to the Spring Equinox is the time of the quickening to Spring. Soon now after First Light the the frozen earth will begin to warm and move toward rebirth. Snow will melt, water appears.  The big thing to notice is the light's return.  Now it is light when the alarm rings in the morning and when you are driving home from work.  The great womb of darkness is loosening its grip on our perceptions.  The cold lingers.  But the light promises the warmth's return.  Take comfort in the light.  Praise the light. 

New things are being formed hidden beneath your consciousness.  The Winter Solstice wish is materializing.

The strong return with new purpose, the weak live on in purgatory. That which is too weak to live again, dies and passes into dissipation. Only energy and the DNA endure. That which dies mutates as it is reabsorbed into the whole. One backward glance, a surge of love and regret - then the living turn toward the wind and the beauty of the world in the glory of her manifestations

Hail Rose,
Daughter of Grace,
Your Lord is with you.
Blessed are thou among women,
so bless the fruit of your womb, Virginia.
Holy Rose, Mother of Mine.
Pray for me and forgive my sins,
Now and at the Hour of my Death.

Amen